What of Your History Do You Want to Remember?

This is such a timely question for me. I think of myself as a little girl who wanted to be an artist and a writer (I have always thought that books were the most magical things on earth) and who never got the support she needed, never had anyone who believed in her.

I picture that little girl standing beside me, and even though I've spend a lifetime being my own worst critic, and hating myself, I look at that little girl and I think... 

"If I don't believe in her, who will?"

Like most everyone, there is much, too much, of my history that I would like to forget. That I try to forget. That I would like to never think about again. That I would prefer to have never even happened at all. That I struggle every single day to not allow to affect my present life in a negative way.

But truthfully, as hard as it is to admit...

I wish to remember how my history of hard times, challenges, struggles, sorrows, disappointments, abandon, fear... how all of the bad things and times...ALONG WITH the good times...

Made me who I am. Helped shaped my inner being. Created the person I was meant to be. Gave me strength, perspective, and experience.

I want to remember how far I've come.

I want to remember the trials, the challenges, all those dark days.

I want to remember the pain, so I can better look in the mirror,

and see me, a survivor.

There is so much more of my history that I am grateful to remember. Travels to exciting and interesting countries and places.

Meeting new friends and treasuring old ones. Laughter and dancing. Love.

I want to remember who I am, was and still. A big hearted, joyful and creative person who knows she is loved and safe and of value, who wants to help, wants to enjoy herself but also see others happy, a girl who loves laughing as much as she loves to make others smile.  A girl with strong intuition and a sense of awe and wonder about the world, who loves art and nature.